*sigh

Again, I neglect my blog. I've been asking a lot of questions lately. What am I doing? Why am I doing this? Is this what I'm supposed to be doing? What do I really want?.. Photography, Writing, Reading, even drawing, my most favorite things to do have been put to a hiatus and tucked away in to-do lists because.. I felt lost.  We're already being asked what we plan to do with our lives and I still don't have an answer. I've ran back and forth between really thinking and deciding about it now, or just enjoy what I'm doing now and future do its thing. I guess I've deceived myself in thinking I'm doing the latter, but subconsciously I'm doing the former. ..In my head, I've justified my slack in thinking that at least I'm not wasting time doing something I don't really know what to do with. Thus I've been living vicariously through other people's much more lively existence through-- the internet. ..and I thought I'd find what I want in identifying with what works in other people's lives. . Sure, I've learned a thing or two. But it didn't exactly give out a sign, a direction of where I'm supposed to go. In fact, I'm even more confused now, having exposed myself to all the possibilities, all the potential things and stories to make or to capture, all experiences to revel in day by day.

I have to start living my own life. Then Maybe I'd have something to write about, something to capture in a frame, something to reflect and interpret in lines on paper. just.. Something.
I admire people who just know what they want to do. or maybe at least seem to have it all figured out. 'nyway, as hellogoodbye goes,
"I've got more on my mind.. than I have on my plate.. uh uh.." ;P

and just now, while I'm fortuitously reading an old schoolmate's blog, I found this:

the internet's speaks to me!:))